Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
