I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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