Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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