I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize