I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
