so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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