i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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