i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
