I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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