His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
