Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
