worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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