Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
