Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
