He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
