chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
