real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
