who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
