Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
