I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
