This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
