Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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