Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
