that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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