I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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