feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
