Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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