I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
