I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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