Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
