You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
