Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
