Dual....:-)
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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