It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
