What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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