I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Im part way to drunk.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
