Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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