Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
