so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we made out on top of his cat.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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