I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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