come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
