Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize