Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize