i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
