i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
