if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
