its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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