My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
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i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.