Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?