Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.

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(847): I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil. http://tfl.nu/z427

Replies (8) Good night (971) Bad night (1502)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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(847): Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test http://tfl.nu/tst5

Replies (13) Good night (3185) Bad night (520)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

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(513): I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace. http://tfl.nu/1kl9

Replies (27) Good night (787) Bad night (2472)
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(315): View more from New York

a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"

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(315): a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop" http://tfl.nu/57y7

Replies (20) Good night (5005) Bad night (1366)
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(407): View more from Florida

I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

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(407): I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks.. http://tfl.nu/av5i

Replies (13) Good night (1048) Bad night (4234)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.

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(205): Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/78iu

Replies (9) Good night (1052) Bad night (3977)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.

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(615): Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span. http://tfl.nu/rd54

Replies (36) Good night (6891) Bad night (1508)
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(440): View more from Ohio

i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.

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(440): i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court. http://tfl.nu/yjxx

Replies (13) Good night (3224) Bad night (992)
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(802): View more from Vermont

You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester

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(802): You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester http://tfl.nu/tjvn

Replies (2) Good night (2342) Bad night (863)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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(267): Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets http://tfl.nu/behk

Replies (7) Good night (1909) Bad night (757)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.

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(270): I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk. http://tfl.nu/wgbm

Replies (9) Good night (1819) Bad night (697)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.

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(414): Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears. http://tfl.nu/il0c

Replies (7) Good night (678) Bad night (1743)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me

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(228): Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me http://tfl.nu/rhlr

Replies (8) Good night (890) Bad night (329)
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(310): View more from California

Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.

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(310): Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/m30n

Replies (3) Good night (1241) Bad night (490)
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(314): View more from Missouri

He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants

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(314): He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants http://tfl.nu/b4ki

Replies (1) Good night (643) Bad night (363)

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