so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....