I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.