suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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