Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll

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  (402): Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll http://tfl.nu/t4li
  Replies (12) Good night (794) Bad night (1194)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?

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  (515): Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye? http://tfl.nu/ztfn
  Replies (14) Good night (1220) Bad night (4998)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems

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  (505): Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems http://tfl.nu/opwd
  Replies (19) Good night (4540) Bad night (1105)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

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  (814): What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners." (423): Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A. (814): No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay. http://tfl.nu/o5wb
  Replies (24) Good night (9735) Bad night (1512)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

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  (630): Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened. http://tfl.nu/4exz
  Replies (23) Good night (6621) Bad night (2968)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  you are both the best and worst wingman ever.

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  (204): I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?" (1-204): you are both the best and worst wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/2hl0
  Replies (17) Good night (7368) Bad night (1352)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am

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  (973): America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am http://tfl.nu/1gc0
  Replies (8) Good night (7281) Bad night (958)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.

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  (515): Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake. http://tfl.nu/j6cx
  Replies (3) Good night (2713) Bad night (1215)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?

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  (603): sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall? http://tfl.nu/ejbk
  Replies (8) Good night (2227) Bad night (912)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.

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  (816): Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples. http://tfl.nu/my8g
  Replies (5) Good night (2257) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king

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  (406): Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king http://tfl.nu/0wfz
  Replies (4) Good night (1760) Bad night (693)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?

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  (302): All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation? http://tfl.nu/0s1x
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (637)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.

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  (770): Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire. http://tfl.nu/2u40
  Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (625)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.

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  (410): I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now. http://tfl.nu/a4rz
  Replies (7) Good night (1348) Bad night (432)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka

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  (570): Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka http://tfl.nu/ycv8
  Replies (5) Good night (662) Bad night (363)

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