proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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