Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
how drunk are you?
Several
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
