hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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