I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
