Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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